Bathrooms and Decisions

“You’re only a billion years old, please don’t retire,” Michael said, sounding desperate as he begged his boss, God herself, to not bring an end to the entire universe. She looked sheepish for a moment, but only a moment before she turned around. He flew after her as she walked along the cloud, hoping to catch her eyes and see a glimpse of sanity left in them.

Pieces of fluffy clouds floated as she walked, swirling in the air to create a halo effect that would have looked beautiful if it wasn’t for the impending doom he felt. He opened his mouth to speak and accidentally choked on a cloud puff, feeling his brain cry out from the sudden cold. God kept walking as he paused midair, trying to catch his breath.

Michael hated it when that happened. The room they were in was entirely made up of clouds, and it had become an everyday nuisance for centuries. He was grateful when God decided to leave through the gigantic, white double doors at the end of the room. He flew through the door after her and into the open space that was her personal bathroom. 

God spoke as she surveyed the area. “Add to your list that we need to brainstorm some bath tub conversion ideas.” Sydney and the rest of Australia, for all its dangerous fauna, didn’t seem like it had a bad collection of animals to Michael anymore. He shouldn’t have pushed her. If he hadn’t pressured her to come up with new animals, she wouldn’t have quit. He shouldn’t have shut down her suggestion to use some rejected drafts to populate the Earth this year or remind her that Australia’s wildlife had been a consequence of doing so previously. Michael took a moment to survey the bathroom to calm himself.

Cloud steps led down from the doors and opened up into a giant, diamond-tiled bath. Crystal blue water sparkled in the sunlight. The sound of rushing water coming from the many fountains that served as taps at each end of the pool was instantly calming. Above them, the stars twinkled. It was beautiful. The perfect open-air bathing room without a care for the plumbing repairs or suffocating shower walls that humans had to deal with. He couldn’t possibly imagine what renovations a room like this could need. 

God picked up a towel hanging from the sink by the door. She looked perfectly relaxed as she waded into the water. It was infuriating. “I’ll also add that we need the bathtub cut out for elderly people then,” he grumbled under his breath, “if you’re too old to continue working.”

The air dropped a few degrees. It was his only sign that he was approaching a fine line. He stumbled back a little bit from the irritable presence oozing off his boss. Keeping his gaze glued to the paper, he quickly jotted down his notes without any further words. 

She might have been retiring, but she was still his boss… until the Universe ended.